Zitate und Sprüche von Tucker Carlson

Don't take a leak on my shoes and tell me it's raining.

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada.

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations.

I don't think all people yearn for freedom, actually. I think they yearn for stability.

It's hard to be ambitious if you're content, isn't it?

I think Michael Moore is loathsome, though, not because he dislikes Bush, but because he seems to dislike America.

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death.

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place.

Ron Karenga wrote a book back in 1968, and in that book, he said that the reason, part of his motivation for starting Kwanzaa was because he felt that Christianity was the white man religion, and he didn't like Jews, and so he made up this lie. And he called it an African holiday because he was concerned that if he didn't call it an African holiday, that black Americans would not participate in it.

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already.

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that.

It is increasingly important to be open-minded.

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent.

But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?

To be a feminist, you could cut your hair really short. You have to be really angry about something.

I have no time for political hacks who say things they don't believe because they get paid to.

That great philosopher anonymous once said, never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

To politicize a man's tragic death is about as low as you can go, isn't it?

Is calling English our national language racist? Are we at that point?

Life is short. You die before you think you're going to. Don't waste it in college unless you're doing something real. My view.

I'm just not sure I trust the federal government not to trample on civil liberties.

I am really only interested in new information, not freelance opinion. I don't really care what you think off the top of your head.

While Walz pretends to support Americans in the Heartland, when the cameras are off, he believes that rural America is "mostly cows and rocks". Walz is obsessed with spreading California's dangerously liberal agenda far and wide.

I am for electric cars. I have to be, because Elon endorsed me very strongly. So, I have no choice.

I have decided that the person best suited to assume the position of Vice President of the United States is Senator J.D. Vance of the Great State of Ohio

I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it - Jeffrey enjoys his social life.

In order to make America great and glorious again, I am tonight announcing my candidacy for president of the United States.

I'm not going to say it right now. So, everybody, I promise you, in the very next - very, very, very short period of time, you're going to be so happy.

If you want to stop the destruction of our country and save the American dream, then this Tuesday you must vote Republican in a giant way.

You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you're innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?

I recommend taking the vaccines. I happen to take the vaccine - if it doesn't work you'll be the first to know.

The world respects us again.

These are the things and events that happen when a sacred landslide election victory is so unceremoniously & viciously stripped away from great patriots who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long.

Normally developing a vaccine takes up to 10 years. We developed a vaccine in just nine months. We've already begun a nationwide vaccination program, and we’re sending the vaccine all over the world. The world will benefit will benefit, and everybody’s calling to thank me.

San Francisco is a mad city - inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane people whose women are of a remarkable beauty.

Anyone who doesn't have a great time in San Francisco is pretty much dead to me.

Congratulations, San Francisco, you've ruined pizza. First the Hawaiians, and now you.

I hope I go to Heaven, and when I do, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan does when he gets there. He looks around and says, 'It ain't bad, but it ain't San Francisco.'

North Korea has taught a great lesson to all the countries in the world, especially the rogue countries of dictatorships or whatever: if you don't want to be invaded by America, get some nuclear weapons.

I ask all Americans with a conscience to shun anything and everything to do with the murderous state of Georgia.

I like America to some extent.

I'm a millionaire, I'm a multi-millionaire. I'm filthy rich. You know why I'm a multi-millionaire? 'Cause multi-millions like what I do.

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.