Ein Frau sagt zu ihrem Arzt, 'Mein Rücken tut weh.' Der Arzt sagt, 'das liegt am Alter.' Die Frau daraufhin, 'ich will eine zweite Meinung einholen.' Darauf der Arzt: 'Gerne - hässlich sind sie auch.'
A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'Tommy Cooper
I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'Tommy Cooper
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.Tommy Cooper
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'Tommy Cooper
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!Tommy Cooper