Zitate und Sprüche aus Tom und Jerry

If I heard one more sound, then I'm gonna skin you alive!

You know, son, now that you're grown up, it's time we have a heart to heart talk about the facts of life. First of all, you're a dog. And there's three things dogs are gonna know how to do.
First: a dog's gonna know how to be man's best friend. That comes in two easy positions: the begging position with the big sad, soulful eyes, and the lyin' at the master's feet position also with the big sad, soulful eyes.
Now the second thing that dog has to know is how to bury bones. Why? I don't know. I can never find them, after I bury them. But that's what dogs is supposed to do.
Third, and most important: all dogs gonna know how to chase cats. Which happens to be my specialty.

Son, now you know why dogs hate cats.

Wait a minute p*ssycat, ever since I was a pup, I've wanted a little place of my own, and I still want it. But if one more thing happens to my little dream house.... there's going to be murder!

Your attention please! We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this urgent warning. A white mouse has just escaped from the experimental laboratories! Before escaping, he consumed enough of a new secret explosive to blow up an entire city! If you see this white mouse, telephone officials at once!

One, for the money. Two, for the show. Three to get ready. And four to go!

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I hope and hope my soul He'll take. Amen.

Hey, you! Whatcha doin' with my bone? Yeah, you! Listen, p*ssycat! If I catch you taking my bone again, there's gonna be trouble! Understand?!

Land sakes! What's going on in here? Why, you overstuffed Pekingese hound, you! Whatcha doin' in here, wrecking up the house?! Get outta here, you pug-nosed old messing good-for-nothing! You know darn well you ain't allowed in the house here.

Listen, p*ssycat, my boy's learning to chase cats and I don't want him to have any trouble, understand? When he starts barking, you start climbing. Is that clear?

Thomas! What's the idea picking on them poor little kittens?! If you don't take good care of them little angels while I'm gone, I'll pulverize you to pieces! You hear me?!

Thomas, if you is a mouse catcher, I'm Lana Turner, which I ain't. The trouble with you is you is gettin' too old to catch mice. So I has decided to bring in a new and younger cat. Step up here and meet a real mouse catcher. Oh, Lightning!

Jasper? Jasper! That no good cat! Just a minute, you good-for-nothing cheap fur coat! Now would you just look, just look at that mess you've made! Now, understand this, Jasper, if you breaks one more thing, you're going out - O-W-T, out! That's clear, ain't it? One more breaking, and you're going out. Now get out of my sight before I gets mad!

Averell: "I love exotic food! What do you call this delicious crust around the frijoles?"
Espuelas: "It's called a terracotta bowl, amigo."

Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."

I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast!