Zitate und Sprüche von Silvio Berlusconi

Italy doesn't need something that is wrinkled, red and leaky, and smells like booze and narcotics. They've already got former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

Marshall: "Excuse me, miss. When you get a chance, could you bring over a hundred shots of tequila please?"
Barney: "I'll have the same."

Marshall: "The broken windows?"
Lily: "We had to make it look realistic."
Marshall: "But why did you break two of them?"
Robin: "It looked like fun when she did it, so I wanted to try."
Marshall: "I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy."

Robin: "Can you guys keep a secret?"
Lily: "Yeah."
Marshall: "Well, some of us can..."

Ted: "The road to this day has had a few twists and turns, hasn't it?"
Marshall: "Yeah... just a few. In a weird way, it all makes sense though, doesn't it?"

Marshall: "The last time I lived this far from him, was my semester abroad."
Lily: "You never did a semester abroad?"
Marshall: "That's what I called it, when we lived on opposite sides of the campus."

Lily: "A big package just arrived."
Marshall: "Yeah, it did."
Lily: "No, no. It's a real package from your dad."
Marshall: "Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is."

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Barney: "Ted what is my one rule?"
Ted: "You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Flax seed relieves upset stomach?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there."
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "New is always better?"
Barney: "New is always better!"

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

You know how sometimes you'll meet a girl and there'll be that one bewitching little detail that'll make you fall in love with her instantly? You know, a little freckle on the nose, the lilt of her laugh, the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase...

The beauty of a moment, is that it's fleeting.

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Marshall: "When a woman puts on an engagement ring, it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the One Ring in The Hobbit."
Robin: "Okay, can you say that again, but not in nerd?"
Marshall: "Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts."
Robin: "Yeah, I don't speak virgin either."

I know our relationship isn't exactly what you want it to be. And I know I may not love you the way you love me, but I DO love you. Isn't that worth hanging on to?

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

Marshall: "I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it."
Lily: "Great, then I don't care if you have an org*sm. If you care, you do it."

Quinn: "In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get full custody of Mr. Stinson's suits."
Barney: "Why? What would you do with them?"
Quinn: "Nothing. I'd just sit around and watch them go out of style."

If we miss Hawaii because of this, guess who's not doing "The Disappearing Salami" anytime soon?

Barney: "The Disappearing Salami... Mr. Flanagan's wife shot him before he could ever tell me what the trick was."
Quinn: "Yeah, that guy was banging your mom!"

Ted: "Robin and I already had our backslide. Last Thanksgiving, not even that long ago."
Stella: "Did you place a large bet against yourself?"

Ted: "We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door."
Stella: "Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow."

Barney: "You avoiding the family too?"
James: "I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists."

The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.

The baby slide right out, huh? It's like a 'whoosh', like a waterslide. [Lily screaming] Slightly painful waterslide.

If you don't push, I will shove that baby up your throat and pull it out of your mouth!

In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.