Die besten Serienzitate (Seite 232)

As for the Hufflepuffs, well, nobody could say they're not nice people. In fact, they're some of the nicest people in the school.

A portrait over the wooden mantelpiece shows Helga Hufflepuff, one of the four founders of Hogwarts School, toasting her students with a tiny, two-handled golden cup.

Now, there are a few things you should know about Hufflepuff house. First of all, let's deal with a perennial myth about the place, which is that we're the least clever house. WRONG. Hufflepuff is certainly the least boastful house, but we've produced just as many brilliant witches and wizards as any other.

The entrance to the common room is concealed in a stack of large barrels in a nook on the right hand side of the kitchen corridor. Tap the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row, in the rhythm of "Helga Hufflepuff", and the lid will swing open. We are the only house at Hogwarts that also has a repelling device for would-be intruders. If the wrong lid is tapped, or if the rhythm of the tapping is wrong, the illegal entrant is doused in vinegar.

Hufflepuff house is haunted by the Fat Friar, who was executed because senior churchmen grew suspicious of his ability to cure the pox merely by poking peasants with a stick, and his ill-advised habit of pulling rabbits out of the communion cup. Though a genial character in general, the Fat Friar still resents the fact that he was never made a cardinal.

In Ravenclaw you'll find learning is prized above all else - and why not? Quite a clever lot, they are in Ravenclaw, and very interesting.

Desire, cunning, a certain moral flexibility - oh, yes, Slytherin could be just the place for you.

Trustworthy, loyal, and modest... all there, I see. And just a hint of tenacity, excellent! They'll appreciate that in Hufflepuff.

Anything sounds weird, if you say it a undred times. Bowl. Bowl. Bowl...

That's the thing no one tells you about a new relationship. You think you're just dating one person, but the truth is: you're dating everyone that person knows - and you better hope they like you!

I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.

I am not "with" Nora. Wrong Preposition! Later tonight I'm hoping to be "on" Nora, right? Or "under" Nora. Am I right? Or, we're all adults, so I'll just say it: "behind" Nora.

If I got serious with Nora, it would be like if Mother Teresa focused all her attention on one really hot orphan. With great penis comes great responsibility.

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

Player play on - high V!

There is one difference between you and me: I'm not saying any of this to get in your pants.

February 13th. A magical night, where a ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a two.

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

Desperation Day has come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

I'd say hump her brain out, but somebody obviously already has.

If I had a criticism, I'd say Gryffindors tend to be show-offs.

Dumbledore himself, the greatest wizard of our time, was a Gryffindor!

Gryffindor house is home to Nearly Headless Nick, who in life was Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington. Something of a snob, and a less accomplished wizard than he believed, Sir Nicholas lounged around the court of Henry VII in life, until his foolish attempt to beautify a lady-in-waiting by magic caused the unfortunate woman to sprout tusks. Sir Nicholas was stripped of his wand and inexpertly executed, leaving his head hanging off by a single flap of skin and sinew. He retains a feeling of inadequacy with regard to truly headless ghosts.

Bloom: "If you knew how many hours I have wasted taking Sorting Hat quizzes..."
Aisha: "Ravenclaw?"
Bloom: "Sometimes Slytherin, yeah."
Aisha: "That explains the lies then."
Bloom: "Let me guess: Gryffindor? Explains the judgement."

You know, your parents must be so proud of you, man. I mean, hitting the trailer-park trifecta: racist, pedophile, and stupid.

Does not a warm hand feel better than a cold shank?

Sneaky son of a b*tch!
You think he found the hole?

Boy's a bit confused about his pigmentation.

Darwin wins inside these walls. Not Einstein. Darwin.

I'll be very clear here, because you and I face an evolutionary gap.

Welcome to Prisneyland, Fish.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

I like my testicles attached to my body, rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out!

There are so many great things to do with the human mouth, why waste it on talking?

You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.

Since I stopped dating Robin, there's this thing I haven't used as much as I would like. It's kind of big. Surprisingly heavy. Kind of leathery. And it's black.
This, my friends, is the playbook!

Ted: "You're like Mary Poppins, if her magic purse was also filled with drugs."
Robin: "If? Ted, the kids in that movie jumped into a painting and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. Spoonful of sugar? Grow Up!"

Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying: "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it's your job to make him awesome."

One of the 24 similarities between women and fish are they're both attracted to shiny objects.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak "I-never-get-laid".

There is a 83% correlation between times when men are wearing a boutonniere and when they are getting laid... proms, weddings, funerals... thanks for the redhead, grandma! By the way, did you know that "boutonniere" is french for "booty is near"?

She really had a fat but: her fat butt!

Sheldon: "Hey, look, I found my missing neutrino."
Howard: "Oh good, we can take it off the milk carton..."