Die besten Serienzitate (Seite 14)

Die besten Serienzitate (Seite 14)

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I know Liberals and Conservatives don't agree on much. But can we agree that you should not own a gun, if you don't know how to poop in a potty?
You have just constructed a straw man so large you could burn it in the desert and hold an annoying festival around it.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Juni 2014
Trump Supporter: "It's an American ideal that we treat women with respect."
Klepper: "You gotta give me the back of that shirt one more time, that's too much fun."
Trump Supporter: "Trump that b*tch!"
Klepper: "Ha ha, we don't even see the irony of it... I love it."
Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Trump Supporter Ideology Test
Trump Supporter: "The regular couple... they work so hard, you know, and the gay couple they want more."
Klepper: "When you say 'more', do you mean 'equal'?"
Trump Supporter: "Yeah, they want equal."
Klepper: "And that's just too much?"
Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Trump Supporter Ideology Test
Trump Supporter: "The presidency is a man's job. A female has more hormones. She could start a war in 10 seconds."
Klepper: "Haven't all wars been started by men?"
Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show - Trump Supporter Ideology Test
Crypto is crashing even harder, with Bitcoin plummeting 67% from its high, which I found really interesting. Because for, like, the past ten years, every single crypto bro I've met has told me that crypto would protect me when the mainstream economy failed.
Usually, when Boris Johnson takes a position, the opposite position is the right one. That's why his hair is always like, "Wherever he goes, I'm going the other way."
I'm just curious about how you even know when Rudy Giuliani is drunk. No, because when a normal person is drunk, they say crazy things, they yell, they sweat a lot. So how does that work with Rudy? Does it work in reverse? Like, does he start talking normally, his hair die sucks back into his hair?
If you dare as an organization to certify the cancellation of the McRib, I will not accept those results. I'm gonna get a group of people together and we're going to travel and we're going to march down to McDonald's headquarters. We're going to McDonald's the first week of January to start the year off with a bang.
It's the 4th of July, that time of year when Americans who don't watch MSNBC, celebrate the nation's birthday.
Don't stereotype Asian people. Also, there's a good chance they're doctors, so they can help you out if you are worried.
I love getting in a Halloween spirit. I buy candy, and when trick-or-treaters come to my door, I eat it in their faces, to show that nothing in life is free!
Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!
If you wanna spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date: "Oh, wow. That's so interesting. I've never met anyone who likes to travel before."
Das Metaverse wird von Microsoft und Facebook gebaut, also weiß man von Anfang an, dass es sau langweilig werden wird.
Close contact with disgusting creatures that may touch you? That's not a haunted house. That's a sleepover at Jeffrey Epstein's place.
Don't point fingers on the internet, because the internet will finger you right back.
They're tricking kids into building their own playground. And I gotta tell you, this exact same thing happened to me back home in Asia, and by the time we were done "playing", we had finished a whole new line of Nike's.
No one has ever been delighted to be in Boston in December. December? What are you excited about? "Oh, I love chapped lips and getting thrown up on by Patriots fans, how peachy."
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - Dezember 2022
Today is Spotify-Wrapped-Day. The day that Spotify looks at our music and reminds us that we're all a basic b*tch. Thank God, Tinder doesn't do a year-end wrap-up just to remind you of all the terrible decisions you made on desperate nights.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - Dezember 2022
Es gibt einfach einen gewissen Abstand, der bewahrt werden müsste. So intim sind wird nicht, dass du mir an der Kasse in den Nacken atmen kannst.
California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - Oktober 2022
The next World Cup will be in the US. Which means all the players will be allowed to use guns. Don't worry, they can't use their hands to shoot them... should be interesting.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - Dezember 2022
The house still passed a gun-control bill. The only problem is that everyone already knows that it has zero chance of passing in the senate. Which has got to be rough for the house. You work so hard on something that you know is going to lose. They're like the New York Knicks of legislation.
North Korea, voted Korea of the year by North Korea Magazine for the past three decades.
Für die Hausarbeit ist meine Frau zuständig. Sonst hätte ich sie auch nicht heiraten müssen.
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Wie kann das denn funktionieren, wir haben doch erst 2011, da kann die Akropolis doch nicht zweieinhalbtausend Jahre alt sein!
Das ganze Leben läuft dir schon die Intelligenz hinterher, aber du schaffst es immer, ncoh einen Meter zu schnell zu sein.
Champagner macht keine Rotweinflecken!
Wenn ich den Opa sehe und den Robert so sehe, dann weiß ich natürlich, wo der Robert seine eklige Art her hat.
Jetzt fahren wir hier wieder hinter den Franzosen her. Die verwechseln alle die Bremse mit dem Gas, das ist doch nicht normal. Gib Power, so kommen wir ja nie an! Mein Hackfleisch lebt gleich wieder!
Maddox hat natürlich auch gute Dinger drauf. Der pisst dann genau zu der Zeit, wenn man's gar nicht brauchen kann, auf ein Kissen. Da hätt ich ihn an die Wand nageln können.
Ich glaub wir haben hier neun Kühlschränke, die müssen doch reichen. Bist du gehirnkrank?
Learning by do it, so hab ich das eigentlich in meinem ganzen Leben gemacht. Ich war ja auch kein Designer und nähen kann ich eigentlich bis heute nicht. Maximal 'nen Kopf und wenn ich annähe, geht der auch spätestens nach zwei Stunden wieder ab. Deshalb bin ich ja auch mittlerweile verheiratet.
Robert: "Guck mal, dass meine Eier fertig werden!"
Carmen: "Die sind doch in der Hose."
Robert: "Aber nur zwei! Ich will vier!"
Hoffentlich bläst der liebe Gott die Wolken weg – sonst müssen wir noch ein paar Blondinen einladen!
The only way the army should use Fortnite is to drop it on Isis. Then they'll start playing it 20 hours a day, and we'll have won the War on Terror and that's when we really get to dance.
Kind wird sich an Sommer 2023 als einen der kühlsten seines Lebens erinnern.
Der Postillon - Juli 2023
Erneuter Terroranschlag der letzten Generation: 34 Leicht- und 5 Schwerverspätete.
Einmal ein Rebell, immer ein Rebell.
Hera Syndulla in Star Wars: Ahsoka - Staffel 1 Episode 4
I've spent most of my life fighting a war. That's why I'm trying to convince you to help me prevent another one.
Man muss etwas zerstören, um etwas zu erschaffen.
Baylan Skoll in Star Wars: Ahsoka - Staffel 1 Episode 4
So oder so hört jeder mal auf zu bluten.
Christopher Turk in Scrubs - Staffel 1 Episode 1
You have three choices, you can give up, give in or give it your all.
Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you.
Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.
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Don't judge me unless you have looked through my eyes, experienced what I went through and cried as many tears as me. Until then back-off, cause you have no idea!
Even if you lose everything, something remains.
What I want isn't money, pretty dresses, or fortune forced upon me. I'm not Lucky Lucy of Heartfilia anymore! Fairy Tail recognizes me as just Lucy and my other family, it's a far more loving family than this!
Lucy Heartfilia in Fairy Tail - Episode 63
Alles, was mir gehört, gehört dir. Alles, was dir gehört, gehört dir. Aber wenn du meine Grenzen überschreitest, gehört alles, was dir gehört, mir.
Englische Übersetzungen zeigen?