Zitate und Sprüche von Ron Swanson

Zitate und Sprüche von Ron Swanson

If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Parks and Recreation - Staffel 3 Episode 2
There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.

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Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 4 Episode 7
One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 5 Episode 19
What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.
I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.
No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.
Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.
Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.
I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.
The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.
I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.
Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
I'm like an elephant, okay? If I walk into a room, it's like, okay, he's in there.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 3 Episode 13
I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.
April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 4 Episode 21
Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 5 Episode 6
Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let's go!
April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 6 Episode 10
She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.
We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.
I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert.
Everything hurts and I'm dying.
Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 4 Episode 17
Idaho cut their parks department by 80 percent. And Idaho is basically one giant park.
Ross: "Sie könnte doch mit mir zusammen wohnen?"
Chandler: "Ihr kennt euch doch erst seit sechs Wochen, ich habe eine Tüte Milch im Kühlschrank, mit der ich schon eine sehr viel längere Beziehung führe."
Chandler Bing in Friends - Staffel 4 Episode 19
Robin, Frauen sind wie verpackte Milch. Weißt du, jede hat ihr geil-sein Verfallsdatum und du hast jetzt deines erreicht. Ich meine es wird schon nochmal ein Typ den Kühlschrank aufmachen, daran schnuppern, mit den Achseln zucken und doch dran schlabbern, aber von jetzt an wirds klumpig.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Staffel 6 Episode 1
Du kannst eine Freundschaft nicht mit Sex zerstören. Das ist als wolltest du Eis mit Streuseln zerstören.
Rajesh Koothrappali in The Big Bang Theory - Staffel 5 Episode 1
Wer einmal den Löffel abgibt, bekommt ihn nicht mehr wieder.
(Ben & Jerrys)
Ob das Glas halb leer oder halb voll ist, ist mir scheißegal! Ist da Wodka drin?
3Plusss - Nase
Kartoffeln werden zu Pommes, Chips und Vodka. So langsam habe ich das Gefühl, die anderen Gemüse geben sich gar nicht richtig Mühe.
More tequila
More love
More anything
More is better
Sie klammert sich an den Tequilla, als wär's ne Rettungsweste
Alex Karev in Grey's Anatomy - Staffel 5 Episode 12
They're exhausting to inflate, they scare the shit out of you when they pop, and uninflated they just look like a pile of clown-condoms.
John Oliver in Last Week Tonight - Boeing

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