Zitate und Sprüche aus Orange Is the New Black

Zitate und Sprüche aus Orange Is the New Black

Orange Is the New Black (OITNB) ist eine US-amerikanische Dramedyserie von Jenji Kohan, die ab Juli 2013 in den USA von Netflix per Streaming veröffentlicht wurde.

Nein ich wurde nie deswegen verhaftet. Vagabundieren, Störung des öffentlichen Friedens, Nacktheit, Ansprechen von Männern.. ähh.. wie heißt das, wenn die jemanden wirklich verhaften wollen, aber keinen Grund zum verhaften haben? ... Ah.. Belästigung der Allgemeinheit! Da hab ich die meisten Punkte, Sir.

Lolly - Staffel 4 Episode 7

Poussey: "Also du sagst, du willst nicht mit mir zusammen sein."
Soso: "Nein. Ich ... Ich weiß nur nicht ob ich jemals das sein werde, was du brauchst."
Poussey: "Das lass mal meine Sorge sein."
Soso: "Wie meinst du das?"
Poussey: "Also... vielleicht stellt es in Frage, was du bisher von dir gedacht hast ... und vielleicht brichst du ja mein Herz in tausend Stücke, aber ähm, das sind nur >Vielleichts<. Man kann sein Leben nicht nach den >Vielleichts< richten."

Poussey Washington - Staffel 4 Episode 6

4

You're a beautiful, sweet girl. F*ck this guy!

Nicky Nichols

1

What do I think love is? It's like when someone makes your stomach feel all tight, but floaty at the same time, you know? And your cheeks hurt from smiling. And you smile so much, that people think something's wrong with you.
...And also f*cking. Twenty-four seven, deep-dick, can't-walk-right f*cking.

Aleida Diaz

1

"What's love to you?"
Flaca: "It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' There's mood lighting all over, and there's like five dudes massaging you."
Maritza: "And you have a pizza!"
Flaca: "She's right. You also have a pizza."

Marisol Gonzales

2

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb it's power.

Galina Reznikov

1

You gotta move...The f*ck...On!

Gloria Mendoza

1

If I hadn't buried my feelings so deep I would totally be tearing up right now.

Maritza Ramos

1

Pain is always there cause life is freaking painful, okay?

Tiffany Doggett

1

I would very much like to return your witty banter, but I am too exhausted to be clever.

Galina Reznikov

1

I hate it when you talk sometimes. No... all the time.

Nicky Nichols

1

Rule Number One: Don't ever fall in love with a straight girl.

1

(Love is) pain, horrible pain, that you want again and again.

Sophia Burset

2

You need to figure out what the f*ck you want.

Nicky Nichols

1

I'm not surviving, I'm just existing.

Brook Soso - Staffel 3

1

I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong.

1

Well, I think that... when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know?

1

It's like...It's like I'm a f*cked-up-shit magnet.

1

Stop crying. Remember? Crying makes you ugly and weak.

Dayanara Diaz

1

If you want my advice? Get out of your own goddamn drama for a minute.

Nicky Nichols

1

Jesus war schwul! Er sagte: 'Das ist mein Leib. Esst mich.'

Jesus was a f-g! He said: 'This is my body. Eat me.'

Big Boo - Staffel 3

1

Ich hasse Kinder. Die trinken nicht, die haben nichts von der Welt gesehen...

I hate kids. They don't drink, they haven't travelled...

Nicky Nichols

1

Ich bin nicht verrückt. Ich bin einzigartig.

I am not crazy. I am unique.

Suzanne Warren

5

Lorna Morello: Du bist nicht mehr wütend auf mich?
Nicky Nichols: Scheint so, als ob wütend ein Luxus ist, auf den ich jetzt verzichten muss..

Nicky Nichols

1

There's always hope tomorrow'll be taco night.

Nicky Nichols

1

Larry Bloom: "Are we at least gonna talk about other options?"
Piper Chapman: "You mean..."
Larry Bloom: "It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion."

Larry Bloom - Staffel 1 Episode 8

Larry Bloom: "Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup."
Piper Chapman: "Well, you put your pee stick in my v*gina. And that's why we're in this situation."

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 8

The only difference between us is, when I made bad decisions in life, I didn't get caught.

Susan Fischer - Staffel 1 Episode 7

Joe Caputo: "You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty? Like, shih tzu, cocker, Jack-something."
Susan Fischer: "Poodle."
Joe Caputo: "That is good, I didn't think of that one."

Joe Caputo - Staffel 1 Episode 7

Or I look single, 34 and single, which must mean there's something wrong with me. Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks, or I have a very special relationship with my mother.

Larry Bloom - Staffel 1 Episode 7

Piper: "Not every Hispanic person wants the same thing."
Lorna: "Oh, sure they do. They all want to come to America."
Nicky: "Jesus, your entire world view is based on 'West Side Story', isn't it?"

Nicky Nichols - Staffel 1 Episode 6

West Side Story

She's gotta start working on tightening her p*ssy muscles, 'cause her fiance's dick is so small, it's like a hot dog in a hallway.

Nicky Nichols - Staffel 1 Episode 6

Sam Healy: "It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejac*lation."
Piper: "No! No. No, it's not. This is real."
Sam Healy: "How is it real? Wait, which?"
Piper: "The chicken. And the... the chicken."

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 5

What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?

George Mendez - Staffel 1 Episode 5

Red: "Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen."
Piper: "Why, because all black people love chicken?"
Red: "Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken."

Galina Reznikov - Staffel 1 Episode 5

P*rnstache: "You are not an agent of God, okay? God can do so much better than you. You must know that, right?"
Pennsatucky: "Know what?"
P*rnstache: "Jesus Christ, how the f*ck did you survive infancy?"
Pennsatucky: "My auntie helped my momma..."
P*rnstache: "That's a rhetorical question! Do you not understand what a f*cking rhetorical question is?"

George Mendez - Staffel 1 Episode 5

Pennsatucky: "It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded."
Pussey: "F*ck are you? Joan of Arc?"
Pennsatucky: "No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany..."

Tiffany Doggett - Staffel 1 Episode 5

Lorna Morello: "I need to start tightening up. You're making me feel like a cave."
Nicky Nichols: "Baby, it's a c*nt, it stretches!"
Lorna Morello: "Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb."

Lorna Morello - Staffel 1 Episode 5

I'm missing half my zucchini. These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not d*ldos.

Galina Reznikov - Staffel 1 Episode 3

Well, I'm just gonna go jerk off then. For the 500th time today.

Larry Bloom - Staffel 1 Episode 3

Guard: "Inmate, step away from the machine."
Larry: "He just called you 'inmate'."
Guard: "You too, sir."
Larry: "Sorry."

Larry Bloom - Staffel 1 Episode 2

Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose, if you're trying to snort crack? I think you mean coke.

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 2

Look, I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball. It's my Lance Armstrong rock.

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 1

Lance Armstrong Penisse

Oh my God, Larry, by the time I get out, there will've been like three new generations of iPhones!

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 1

Larry: "Where would you like me to put it then, Piper?"
Piper: "Up your ass."
Larry: "There's no room. Apparently, my head's already up there."

Larry Bloom - Staffel 1 Episode 1

Come on, we gotta rally. Make some memories.

Piper Chapman - Staffel 1 Episode 1

Larry: "She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig roasting box."
Pete: "At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?"
Larry: "A baby?"
Pete: "You can't eat it."

Pete Harper - Staffel 1 Episode 1

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