Zitate und Sprüche aus Monty Python's Flying Circus

What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!

Colonel: "Watkins, why did you join the army?"
Watkins: "For the water-skiing and the travel, sir. Not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir: 'no killing'."
Colonel: "Watkins, are you a pacifist?"
Watkins: "No, sir. I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward."

I'd like to complain about people who constantly hold things up by complaining about people who complain. It's high time something was done about it!

We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

We serve no meat of any kind. We're not only proud of that, we're smug about it.

This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir, invisible. This is an ex-parrot.

Mr. Notlob, there's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.

Morning, I'm a bank robber, please don't panic, just hand over all the money.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.

Peasant: "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."
Cardinal Ximinez: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"