Monty Python - Die besten Zitate und Sprüche

Obstetrician 1: "Get the EEG, the BP monitor, and the AVV."
Obstetrician 2: "And get the machine that goes 'ping!'."
Obstetrician 1: "And get the most expensive machine - in case the Administrator comes."

Yorkshireman 1: "Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves."
Yorkshireman 2: "But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'."

Mr. Smoketoomuch: "Good morning!"
Travel agency secretary: "Oh, good morning! Have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a bjob?"

I've got two legs, from my hips to the ground
And when I move them, they walk around
And when I lift them, they climb the stairs
And when I shave them, they ain't got hairs.

Colonel: "Watkins, why did you join the army?"
Watkins: "For the water-skiing and the travel, sir. Not for the killing, sir. I asked them to put it on my form, sir: 'no killing'."
Colonel: "Watkins, are you a pacifist?"
Watkins: "No, sir. I'm not a pacifist, sir. I'm a coward."

I'd like to complain about people who constantly hold things up by complaining about people who complain. It's high time something was done about it!

We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

The use of the word "just" by an Australian means that whatever it is you have to do, it will not be easy, as in "Just pull that sword out of the stone" or "Just split that atom."

We're all in our 70s now and even doing 10 shows, with lots of costume changes, is going to be exhausting. And the guys have far more to do than me, obviously. But I have a feeling it might not be the last Python project ever. I wouldn't be surprised if they did another film.

They all welcomed me with open arms and immediately put my fears to rest. John Cleese was rather flirty; Michael Palin seemed rather shy; Terry Jones was very jolly; Eric Idle was a tiny bit aloof; Graham Chapman was very polite and Terry Gilliam was very loud and a bit manic.

Then there was Michael Palin. Michael is the one who hasn't changed at all. I thought he was - and still is - the cutest of the bunch.