Zitate und Sprüche von Lily Aldrin

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

Marshall: "I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it."
Lily: "Great, then I don't care if you have an org*sm. If you care, you do it."

Ted: "I hate how you're always right."
Lily: "It's my best, and most annoying, trait."

Ted: "You're not gonna do it at your wedding?"
Lily: "Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower-grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, 'Crawl for it, b*tches!'"

Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

Do it. If you ever want to see these boobs again, crawl, you son of a me.

Barney: "I am so sorry, Cornelius. You deserve a better end than this."
Lily: "You got ketchup on a red tie, you can't even see it!"

Marshall: "During that time, I have been, how do I put this delicately, saving all my love for you."
Lily: "I have read eleven books on conception, I have cut out alcohol, caffeine and sugar. I take my temperature every hour. But good for you for not playing with yourself!"

Robin: "Have plans with Don on Saturday, he's making me Chinese."
Lily: "I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise, I have some follow-up-questions."

In commemoration of Barney's induction into the "Hall of Game", this tie, worn on the seventh night of his perfect week, is hereby retired.

Robin: "Who wants hot-wings?"
Lily: "I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on Barney, since he's a total chicken."

Lily: "A swordfight? On Monday I'm gonna have to tell my kindergarten class, who I teach not to run with scissors, that my fiancé ran me through with a freakin' broadsword."
Marshall: "Well... just to be fair, it didn't go all the way through."
Lily: "I'm sorry, is this a discussion of the degree to which you stabbed me?"

Lily: "It's nine weeks 'til the wedding, at this point, I'd say yes to just about anything."
Barney: "Well..."
Lily: "No, Barney."

The "no more surprises"-thing is the best part of being married.

So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"?

Marshall: "Lily, you snooped through her stuff?"
Lily: "No, it's like the first thing you see when you jimmy open her desk-drawer with the letter opener her grandfather left her, according to her diary."

Eventually, Nick's groin will heal and you'll be back in Sexville, where all the crossword puzzles only have one box to fill.

Ted: "So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?"
Lily: "Oh, grow up, Ted, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!"

Mrs. Buckminster was a spoonful of sugar. But so far, everyone we can afford on this website HeyNannyNanny.com is "Scary Poppins".

Marshall: "Are you sure this poo-poo didn't happen on your watch and you just ran out the clock until it was my problem?"
Lily: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. What kind of mother lets her son sit in his own filth for an extra nine minutes and 42 seconds?"

Ted it's fine, I'm a child of divorce. You guys keep fighting all you want - as long as the expensive gifts keep coming.

I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears, and it's a very thin sweater. So, please, if you must tell your story, just make it cheerful.

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.

Ted, honey, I want you to go outside and bite the curb. I'll be out in a minute.

Ted: "Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch!"
[The lights turn out]
Lily: "Happy? Now you pissed up the big guy upstairs!"
Ted: "Yeah, I'm sure god cares if I..."
Man: "You use that language again and I turn off your water!"
Lily: "It's my super - he lives above me."

Ted: "I could end up marrying this woman; I want our first kiss to be special."
Lily: "Oh, that's sweet. So you chickened out like a little b*tch?"

Marshall: "Yes, i want a ball-room and I want a band and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day since I was... like...
Lily: "...a little girl?"

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Barney, check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.

Hey, nice shirt, Ted. Is it yesterday already?

Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.

Marshall: "Can we borrow your air mattress? My mom's coming into town for a few days."
Ted: "Absolutely not!"
Lily: "Bummer, I guess she can't stay with us. Hey, look what I just found! A list of hotels and other creative housing options."
Marshall: "Baby, my mom is not staying at a hotel. Or our storage unit."

Marshall: "Baby, you're like 20 sl*tty chicks all rolled into one."
Lily: "Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!"

I think my soul just threw up a little bit.

When Barney overhears that Ted and Robin have a secret to reveal at the wedding reception, he begins to guess what it might be.

Barney: "On your tombstone, it will be, 'Lily Aldrin. Caring wife. Loving friend. Slapbet-Commissioner.'"
Marshall: "And your tombstone will read, 'Got slapped by Marhsall so hard he died.'"

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

You know how sometimes you'll meet a girl and there'll be that one bewitching little detail that'll make you fall in love with her instantly? You know, a little freckle on the nose, the lilt of her laugh, the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase...

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Barney: "Ted what is my one rule?"
Ted: "You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Flax seed relieves upset stomach?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there."
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "New is always better?"
Barney: "New is always better!"

If you want more sex, just ask for it.