Zitate und Sprüche von Laura Prepon

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.

For me, personally, I watch pretty much everything on Netflix, and I watch all the episodes in a row, when I can.

Sure you want to meet that soul mate and fall in love and have the big thing, but until that happens, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs.

I never think of myself as any kind of sex symbol, but I get letters from all over, all sorts. It's really cool. I get a lot from inmates, which is kind of scary. But the best was the guy who wanted to send me a plane ticket to fly me to his prom.

I like to think I'll just be walking down the street one day and stop and meet someone, like, 'Oh my God, you're awesome,' and then we start dating.

Rule Number One: Don't ever fall in love with a straight girl.

I'm pretty much the master of handling things completely wrong.

Well, I think that... when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away, you know?

You're a beautiful, sweet girl. F*ck this guy!

What do I think love is? It's like when someone makes your stomach feel all tight, but floaty at the same time, you know? And your cheeks hurt from smiling. And you smile so much, that people think something's wrong with you.
...And also f*cking. Twenty-four seven, deep-dick, can't-walk-right f*cking.

"What's love to you?"
Flaca: "It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' There's mood lighting all over, and there's like five dudes massaging you."
Maritza: "And you have a pizza!"
Flaca: "She's right. You also have a pizza."

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb it's power.

You gotta move...The f*ck...On!

If I hadn't buried my feelings so deep I would totally be tearing up right now.

Pain is always there cause life is freaking painful, okay?

I would very much like to return your witty banter, but I am too exhausted to be clever.

This is why you never go to New Jersey!

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, we gotta go to Jersey.

I feel like if you're in Jersey, you have to be a Jersey Devils fan. Anybody born within the confines of the border of the state of New Jersey, I feel, should be a Jersey Devils fan.

The state of New Jersey is really two places - terrible cities and wonderful suburbs. I live in the suburbs, the final battleground of the American dream, where people get married and have kids and try to scratch out a happy life for themselves. It's very romantic in that way, but a bit naive. I like to play with that in my work.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Do you know the parable about the frog in the cream? Two frogs landed in a pail of cream. One, thinking rationally, understood straight away that there was no point in resistance and that you can't deceive destiny. But then what if there's an afterlife – why bother jumping around, entertaining false hopes in vain? He crossed his legs and sank to the bottom. The second, the fool, was probably an atheist. And she started to flop around. It would seem that she had no reason to flail about if everything was predestined. But she flopped around and flopped around anyway . . . Meanwhile, the cream turned to butter. And she crawled out. We honour the memory of this second frog's friend, eternally damned for the sake of progress and rational thought.

I hate it when you talk sometimes. No... all the time.

Larry Bloom: "Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup."
Piper Chapman: "Well, you put your pee stick in my v*gina. And that's why we're in this situation."

Larry Bloom: "Are we at least gonna talk about other options?"
Piper Chapman: "You mean..."
Larry Bloom: "It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion."

Red: "Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen."
Piper: "Why, because all black people love chicken?"
Red: "Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken."

What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?

Pennsatucky: "It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded."
Pussey: "F*ck are you? Joan of Arc?"
Pennsatucky: "No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany..."

Joe Caputo: "You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty? Like, shih tzu, cocker, Jack-something."
Susan Fischer: "Poodle."
Joe Caputo: "That is good, I didn't think of that one."

The only difference between us is, when I made bad decisions in life, I didn't get caught.

I am not crazy. I am unique.

Stop crying. Remember? Crying makes you ugly and weak.

It's like...It's like I'm a f*cked-up-shit magnet.

I'm not surviving, I'm just existing.