Zitate und Sprüche von Kumail Nanjiani

"Is Kumail Nanjiani's d*ck multiple colors?"
"Yes. Every shade of your mom's lipstick. And her b*tthole."

For every $1 we could raise, they'll remove one pound of plastic from the ocean. We're trying to raise $30 million by the end of the year.

I'm having a really good time. The costume's probably slightly different than you might expect. But to go back into the role [of Obi-Wan] is great.

The circus came back to town in Washington for the second impeachment trial of Donald OJ. Trump.

It was nice to get to enjoy an inauguration without a pit of dread in your stomach.

Trump's leaving office with his lowest approval rating yet. It's down to 29%. Which, for someone who recently incited a insurrection to overthrow the government isn't bad. Honestly, what would he have to do to get below 20%, Eat the constitution? Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.

If Martin Luther King were alive today, he would probably watch the news and go, "let me be more specific about this dream I had."

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.