Zitate und Sprüche von Jordan Li

Jordan: "Next time, I won't rescue you."
Marie: "You didn't."
Jordan: "F*cking did."
Marie: "I exploded his dick."
Jordan: "Because I distracted him. Tag team cocksplosion."

I'm just... The kid addicted to their PlayStation. Who goes to Olive Garden just for the breadsticks, who binges Property Brothers. I've never changed, Dad. I've always just been me.

Piece of dickless shit.

How you feel? 'Cause I'm sweating cocaine.

Do you like Jordan? Do you want to hang out with them? Do you want to talk to them? Do you want to put your mouth on their mouth and other f*cking body parts? I mean, come on. This isn't quantum physics.

In darkness, stars can truly shine.

You work with dangerous animals all day, sooner or later, you're gonna get bitten.

You didn't know Luke. How funny he was, how much he loved his family. But shades of gray don't sell like black and white, do they?

I'm Cate's imaginary friend from when she was a kid. Boyfriend, really. I taught her how to jerk off. Diddle that skittle. Flick the bean. Gotta find that man in the canoe. Came like a faucet. She'd crank up the Jonas Brothers. She'd hump a soldier boy pillow. She'd raw dog that pillow till she saw God.

I'm kind of like PewDiePie without the Nazi stuff.

Wherever we go, we promised we're in this together.

It's not about the talent. It's about the drive.

Sometimes people don't have an angle. Sometimes, they're just actual human beings.

I'm the last person who thinks they're a hero. I f*cking hate myself half the time.

You all act like you're made of steel. But you're not. No one is.

Being a hero is not what you think. You know, if you're gonna do this, make sure you do it for you.

You're gonna take a little jog over to Dick's Sporting Goods. Buy yourself a nice Louisville slugger. Bring it right back to the quad and swing that bat as hard as you can into your nuts. Every hour, on the hour. And every time you swing, yell "Jumanji." Sound good?

Is a male asshole tighter than a female asshole?

Hi! I have been dying to meet you. Oh, God, you're so pretty. You want a White Claw? It's 10:01 somewhere.

I'm not here to do keg stands or get high or get in touch with my feelings about my past. I'm here to be a hero.

I know more about Supes than just about any soul alive.

You know when Golden Boy flames on his clothes burn off? It's like a big, fiery sea cucumber.

I know there must be many thoughts going through your mind right now. Is this the right place for me? Do I belong here? Well, let me assure you that we see something in you. Something you may not even see yourself. Even if you do have X-ray vision.

"Where did you find that kind of courage?"
"I'm superhuman, right? We're made of steel."

Hughie, these women they're like fine wine, the older they get, the more delicious, but the drier.

You wanna know what I do when I'm sad… or scared? F*cking nothing. Cuz I'm not a f*cking p*ssy.