You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
