Zitate und Sprüche von Ellen DeGeneres

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.

We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.

Well you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him!

I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please! I don't want that to go away. I don't want to forget.

When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming.

I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself. Fish are friends, not food!

Hello. My name is Dory. I don't think I've ever eaten a fish. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.

What is it with men and asking for directions?

Chum: "Humans - they think they own everything."
Anchor: "Probably American."

He either said we should 'go to the back of the throat' or he wants a 'root beer float'.

Marlin: "Oh, my stomach."
Crush: "Hey, no hurlin' on the shell, dude, okay? Just waxed it."

I'm H2O intolerant!

Bubbles: "Wow, the Big Blue! What's it like?"
Nemo: "Uhm. Big and blue."
Bubbles: "I knew it!"

It has been three weeks since my last fish, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup.

You know for a clownfish, he really isn't that funny.

If you ever meet a sea turtle, make sure to ask how old he is.

Whoa! That was so cool! Hey, Dad! Did you see that? Did you see me? Did you see what I did?

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?
One Mississippi.

What's the loneliest place in all of Louisiana?
Bayou Self

Hurricane Katrina was the storm of the 21st century. It devastated an area the size of Great Britain. More than 1,800 Americans died. Three hundred thousand homes were destroyed. There was $96 billion in property damage. I served on the Louisiana Recovery Authority. I saw Congress write one big check and then skip town.

Black bandana, sweet Louisiana
Robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way sayin', 'Baby, what you gonna- ?'
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45
Just another way to survive

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Louisiana - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human.

As much money and life as you could want! The two things most human beings would choose above all - the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them.

Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.

I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

You can own the Earth and still
All you'll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

I am not gay. Although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes.

Gay-marriage - great. I approve that, no problem. But you have to be gay for that!

Ah, cars. Where would we be without cars? And how would we get there?

If you have no reason to stay, that is exactly the best to go.

Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest... honestly!

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved.

Rose always used to tell me that keeping quiet when someone's hurt you isn't kind, it's stupid. I might be useless, and I might be slow... but I'm not stupid!

Bullying happens because weak people need to prop up their ego by beating up or humiliating others.