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Brexit Analogy; We've all been on a night out with a mate who says, "it's shit here - let's go somewhere else." Then, when you leave, you realise he has no idea where to go and the place you left won't let you back in. The United Kingdom is standing in a kebab shop at 2 am, arguing about whose fault it is.

Why can't he go home? Why can't he grab a kebab, down a glass of water and pass out on the couch with one shoe on, like a normal person?

Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can and kebabs to accept the things I can't.

You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life.

Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

Mr Willy Wonka can make marshmallows that taste of violets, and rich caramels that change colour every ten seconds as you suck them, and little feathery sweets that melt away deliciously the moment you put them between your lips. He can make chewing-gum that never loses its taste, and sugar balloons that you can blow up to enormous sizes before you pop them with a pin and gobble them up. And, by a most secret method, he can make lovely blue birds' eggs with black spots on them, and when you put one of these in your mouth, it gradually gets smaller and smaller until suddenly there is nothing left except a tiny little darkred sugary baby bird sitting on the tip of your tongue.

This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart.

We begin by coveting what we see every day! Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?

Look for severe childhood disturbances associated with violence. Our Billy wasn't born a criminal, Clarice. He was made one through years of systematic abuse.

Don't waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.

I deal with tough mathematical questions every day, but please don’t ask me to help with Brexit!

I am sorry on behalf of most, if not close to all, of Australia at this point. I'm sorry about Raygun and that we broke dancing.

There's some nights I can't remember with friends I can't forget.