Die besten Zitate und Sprüche zum Dienstag

After Tuesday, even the week goes W-T-F.

I don't bring lunch on Tuesdays. It's square pizza day.

I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Bankers Club, and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice

Tuesday nights are sushi nights, so we go out then.

Just keep your nose out of my business and up the teacher's butt where it usually is.

I'm mature enough to be on my own. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna Google how to buy a credit card.

It's like, I think about sex 24/7, but I don't really know how to do it. In the movies, you always see the girl kiss her way down the guy's body, but then, she moves off-screen. Is she stopping at the penis or kissing all the way to the foot?

Hey gods, it's Devi Vishwakumar, your favorite Hindu girl in the San Fernando Valley. What's a-poppin'? It's the first day of school, and I thought we should have a check-in. I think we can all agree that last year sucked for a number of reasons. So I thought of a few ways you guys can make it up to me. One: I'd like to be invited to a party with alcohol and hard drugs. I'm not gonna do them, I'd just like the opportunity to say, "No cocaine for me, thanks. I'm good." Two: I'd love for my arm hair to thin out. I know it's an Indian thing, but my forearms look like the frigging floor of a barber shop. And lastly, most importantly, I'd really, really like a boyfriend, but not some nerd from one of my AP classes. Like a guy from a sports team. He can be dumb, I don't care. I just want him to be a stone-cold hottie, who could rock me all night long. Thanks for considering. I love you guys.

We are smart. And idiots are banging all the time. We can learn how to do it, too.

I want you to allow yourself to aknowledge the pain that you so clearly feel.

That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed
But my good friends is all I need
Pass out at three, wake up at ten
Go out to eat, then do it again
Man, I love college

And now the masters think that Asher wants to be a Marshall Mathers
They say Asher's not a rapper, na his ass is just an actor
'Cause we have the same complexion and similar voice inflection
It's easy to see the pieces and the reach for that connection

You can't go wrong with relatively simple comfort food. It's also about ease. Some cook to impress. I cook for people to enjoy the food.

The best way to get anybody's attention is dinner. I have good kitchen skills and good grocery shopping skills.

Always be yourself. At the end of the day, that's all you've really got; when you strip everything down, that's all you've got, so always be yourself.

Nobody says 'a working man,' but they say, 'a working woman.' And there is still a strange connotation to that.

Aunties are older Indian women who have no blood-relation to you. But are allowed to have opinions about your life and all your shortcomings. And you have to be nice to them because you're Indian.

You look like an Indian Kardashian.

You better go to your room before I give you a smack. Smacking is still an acceptable punishment in many minority cultures.