Zitate und Sprüche aus Critical Role

Kashaw: "Is there a weak point?"
Scanlan: "Our plan."

Right. I have an intelligence of 6. I know what I'm doing.

Vax'ildan: "Good sir dwarf, clearly we are idiots."
Dungeon Master: "That's the first true thing you've said since you called me out of my meal."

Oh, Kern, do you need some d-ck? Because I gave some to your mom last night!

In fact, we'll be keeping your weapons, your armor, and, I believe, your pride.

Dagger's so sharp it could cut the sexual tension.

Hello, I'd like to share the news of our lord and savior, my axe in your face!

Hello, everyone! And welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.

Only in the house of lady favors do I let my beans hang out when I sleep.

It's so rare that we're actually given the opportunity to be honest about everything; we might as well try it once and see if we like it.

We don't do anything with dignity.

What's the best thing you've got? That's, you know, within reason.

You can't walk off in the middle of a game of hide-and-seek again. I've been in a barrel for an hour! I fell asleep in there!

Keyleth: "Hey, guys… We're friends, right?"
Percy: "Worse. We're family."

Well, you haven't seen a door mimic before, because I don't hate you that much yet.

I do not want to die who I am. I would like to live long enough to be someone else.

Vax'ildan: "You come on to every human, orc, and half-elf in the entire kingdom, but pretending to be my wife for 30 minutes is too much?"
Vex'ahlia: "Yes, it's disgusting, so no."
Vax'ildan: "You're probably right."

Scanlan: "Ok, I'm gonna move right there, into the room as far as I can."
Dungeon Master: "That's as far as, you can go that far."
Scanlan: "Ok, and I'm going to cast stinking cloud. Right there. It's gonna smell like just ass over there."

Don't worry, that hard wood is the boat.

With my frenzied rage renewed, I run towards the water, haunted by nightmares of Sebastian and the Little Mermaid and I leap into the water, and start slashing, and slashing.

If only I had taken a dump in the middle of town, I could see what's going on right now.

Grog: "We have, also if you're interested, in trade, basilisk eggs, and parts of an umberhulk."
Vax'ildan: "And a troll dck."
Grog: "Nope, that's gone. We flogged him with it, and then it disappeared."
Vax'ildan: "I detract my offer."
Grog: "It was used very well."

Never attack the bedding before you know the thread count.

Tiberius: "Vax, what are you doing?"
Vax'ildan: "I'm killing someone, hold please."

I'll give you a limerick. Hold on. I've been preparing it. Have you heard tale of Scanlan the bard? Or Burt Reynolds if you look at his card. Always tries to get laid, sometimes with ladies he made. But I still respect him because rhyming is hard.

Dungeon Master: "Look, we're letting you off this once, but if you so much as spit in the direction of any other dwarf in this city, we're gonna bury you so far underneath the dungeon, you won't see the light of day again until the day you rot. You hear me dragonborn?"
Tiberius: "I mean, yes. My hearing is perfectly fine."

How do you want to do this?