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Wha if 'yes' was the right answer instead of 'no'? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?

Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was. (...) Alone wasn't a room anymore, but the whole wide world, and now I was alone in that world, occupying it in a way I never had before.

I'd loved books in my regular life, but on the trail, they'd taken on even greater meaning. They were the world I could lose myself in when the one I was actually in became too lonely or harsh or difficult to bear.

Fear, to great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.

I would want things to be different than they were. The wanting was a wilderness and i had to find my own way out of the woods.

I considered my options. There was only one, I knew. There was always only one. To keep walking.