Zitate und Sprüche aus Blackadder

Lord Melchett: "Ah, Blackadder, talking to yourself, I see."
Blackadder: "Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation."

Edmund Blackadder

Freche Sprüche

Mrs M, if we were the last three humans on earth, I would be trying to start a family with Baldrick.

Edmund Blackadder

Korb-Sprüche

They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

Edmund Blackadder

Lustige Drohungen

Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

Edmund Blackadder

Truthähne

Baldrick, believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me - and THIS pencil.

Edmund Blackadder

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?

Edmund Blackadder

Lustige Beleidigungen Gehirn

There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the Vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

Edmund Blackadder

Wikinger

He's madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of last year's Mr Madman competition.

Edmund Blackadder

Your brain is so minute Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Edmund Blackadder

Lustige Beleidigungen

Pitt the Younger: "I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you."
Blackadder: "And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye?"

Edmund Blackadder

Lord Flashheart: "Enter the man who has no underwear. Ask me why."
Others: "Why do you have no underwear, Lord Flash?"
Lord Flashheart: "Because the pants haven't been built yet that'll take the job on."

Lord Flashheart

Baldrick: "I have a plan, sir."
Blackadder: "Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?"
Baldrick: "Yes, sir."
Blackadder: "As cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University?"

The suspect has his head placed upon a block, and an axe aimed at his neck. If the man is guilty, the axe will bounce off his neck. If the man is not guilty, the axe will simply slice his head off.

Baldrick: "I love my mum."
Blackadder: "And I love chops in sauce but I don't seek their advice."

Edmund Blackadder

Freche Sprüche

Oh, Edmund. I do love it when you get cross. Sometimes I think about having you executed, just to see the expression on your face.

Queenie

Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.

Edmund Blackadder

Samuel Johnson: "This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language."
Blackadder: "Every single one, sir?"
Samuel Johnson: "Every single word, sir."
Blackadder: "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities."

Edmund Blackadder

Baldrick, you wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing "subtle plans are here again".

Edmund Blackadder

Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Edmund Blackadder

Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunach's underpants.

Edmund Blackadder

Lustige Beleidigungen

Mrs Miggins: "Don't mind them Mr B, they're just being intellectual."
Blackadder: "There's nothing intellectual about wandering around Italy in a big shirt trying to get laid."

Edmund Blackadder

Italien

Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?!

Lord Flashheart

Prince George: "Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey."
Blackadder: "Oh, an absurd suggestion sir. Unless it was a particularly stupid donkey."

Edmund Blackadder

Lustige Beleidigungen Esel

Blackadder: "Criminal record?"
Baldrick: "Absolutely not."
Blackadder: "Oh, come on, Baldrick. You're going to be an MP for God's sake. I'll just put fraud and sexual deviance."

Edmund Blackadder

Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot.

Edmund Blackadder

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the Devil's own satanic herd.

Edmund Blackadder

Lord Blackadder: "Ah, Melchett! Greetings! I trust Christmas brings you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp."
Lord Melchett: "And compliments of the season to you, Blackadder. May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down."

Weihnachten

Mr. Pants: "You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?"
Blackadder: "No, this is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit."

Edmund Blackadder

Old woman: "The Wise Woman? There are two things you must know about the Wise Woman! First... she is a woman! And second...-"
Blackadder: "She is wise?"
Old woman: "Oh, you do know her then."
Blackadder: "No, just a quick stab in the dark - which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being more helpful."

Edmund Blackadder

We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

Edmund Blackadder

I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.

Queenie

She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.

Lord Flashheart

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Jemanden wegen seiner Herkunft zu kritisieren ist völlig irrational und dumm. Aber es ist das gute Recht eines jeden, die Religion anderer zu kritisieren. Das nennt sich Freiheit.

To criticize a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous, but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom.

Rowan Atkinson

Religion Rassismus

Ich habe mir schon immer mehr Gedanken um Dinge gemacht als nötig.

I have always worried about things more than I should.

Rowan Atkinson

Denken

Mr. Bean ist eigentlich ein Kind, das im Körper eines Erwachsenen gefangen ist. Und weil man sich überall auf der Welt auf die gleiche Weise mit Kindern identifiziert, kommt er auch überall gut an.

Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.

Rowan Atkinson

I've always had live audiences.

Rik Mayall

With 1,000-seater venues, rather than 5,000-seaters, there are richer opportunities for sucking the audience in.

Rik Mayall

I had a very happy childhood, happy teenage years and I was famous by the time I was 22. A charmed life.

Rik Mayall

Ich bin ein Kaffee Fanatiker. Sobald man einmal guten Kaffee getrunken hat, kann man nicht mehr zurück.

I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can't go back. You cannot go back.

Hugh Laurie

Kaffee

I don't talk like House, or walk like him. I certainly don't think like him. I don't like to think for more than 15 minutes at a stretch actually; I am a fragile flower.

Hugh Laurie

Humility was considered a great virtue in my family household. No show of complacency or self-satisfaction was ever tolerated. Patting yourself on the back was definitely not encouraged, and pleasure or pride would be punishable by death.

Hugh Laurie

Die ersten Worte, die ich nach der Geburt zu meiner Mutter sagte, waren, "das war das letzte mal, dass ich mich durch sowas durch gequetscht habe!"

My first words, as I was being born I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm going up one of those!"

Stephen Fry

Lustige Sprüche

I called JK up and said, "Look, do you mind, I can't say 'Harry pocketed-ed it'. Would it be okay if I said 'Harry put it in his pocket'?" There was a big pause at the end of the line, then she said, "No" in her best witch's voice. I could hear her smile as she said it.

Stephen Fry - Mai 2019

Joanne K. Rowling Zitate über Harry Potter

Wenn niemand zusieht, dann bist du wer du bist.

You are who you are when nobody's watching.

Stephen Fry

Harvey: "Er war ganz nett."
Dana: "Er war verärgert."
Harvey: "Das war verärgert? Wie sieht der Mann glücklich aus?"
Dana: "Er ist Brite, ist derselbe Gesichtsausdruck."

Dana Scott in Suits - Staffel 2 Episode 15

England & Großbritannien

Der Geist ist ein komplexes und vielschichtiges Etwas, Potter... zumindest gilt das für die meisten.

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.

Severus Snape in Harry Potter und der Orden des Phönix

Harry James Potter Geist Lustige Beleidigungen

"Klaust Du jetzt auch noch meine Schuhe?"
"Nein, ich kann aus den Falten im Leder die Zukunft lesen. Halt die Klappe und schlaf."

Der Exorzist

Freche Sprüche

Willst du meine Nummer haben, musst du auf ein Wunder warten

Shindy - Springfield

Korb-Sprüche

I'm gonna beat you like a piñata till candy flies out of your ass!

Lucy Joe Heisner in Shameless - Staffel 2 Episode 4

Lustige Drohungen

Dieser Tag feiert den Völkermord der weißen Kolonisten. Wir feiern unsere erfolgreiche Kolonisation. Und als wär das nicht sadistisch genug, packen wir noch das Bild eines fröhlich lächelnden Truthahns als Wahrzeichen drauf, ein Tier, das wir massenhaft abschlachten.

We celebrate a holiday that praises our success at genocide. It's a white celebration of colonization. That's not sadistic enough. We package it up with the image of a happy, smiling turkey. The emblem of the holiday is the animal that we slaughter en masse.

Marcus Baker in Ginny & Georgia - Staffel 2 Episode 1

Thanksgiving Truthähne

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