Zitate und Sprüche von Beth Smith

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my p-nis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."

Beth: "Do you want homeless people to have homes?"
Jerry: "Yes."
Beth: "Are you gonna build them?"
Jerry: "No."
Beth: "Then what good was the 'yes'?"

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful, so if you want me to give it up, you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of t*ts.

Welcome to life. It's a big boat with a lot of holes, but we're all in it together.

Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge.

8 % of anything is expendable: 8 % of pizza is crust. 8 % of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.

Oh my god, it's disgusting... actually, it tastes really good... oh my god, it's disgusting that it tastes good.

Rick: "Just do a 'Die Hard'!"
Summer: "What does that mean?"
Rick: "Sneak around! Use air vents! You've never seen 'Die Hard'?"
Summer: "I'm 17. No, I've never seen f*cking 'Die Hard'."
Rick: "Well, neither did the guy in 'Die Hard'. So, you're nailing it."

Rick: "Wait a minute! Is that Mountain Dew in my quantum-transport-solution?"
Morty: "I saw you were marking the level so I had to top it off."
Rick: "Top it off? Do you know how dangerously toxic this stuff is? And you added it to my portal fluid?"

You don't get to tell anyone what's sad. You're like a one-man Mount Sadmore. So I guess like a Lincoln Sadmorial.

No voting, no debate. It's not a democracy - it's a Rickpublic!

Summer: "I think it's in our best interest to work as a team."
Morty: "Yeah, most people would call that 'family'."

Jerry: "Space sperm? Sperm from... space?"
Rick: "Very impressive verbal forensic work, Jerry."

Planetina: "Your acid rain is an acid pain... in the butt, Diesel Wiesel!"
Rick: "Yikes! Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?"

Morty: "Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house, did you mean, like, an exact replica?"
Rick: "I know about the Yosemite T-Shirt, Morty."
Morty: "Shit."
Rick: "You know you can use tissues, right?"
Morty: "I can't finish without it!"

Time without purpose is a prison.

Mr. Nimbus: "Say goodbye to your precious dry land! For soon it will be wet!"
Rick: "Yeah, global warming is already doing that. But sure, yeah, go for it. Make us slightly more wet."

Those called "fools" are the only ones brave enough to see the truth.

Morty: "So, time moves faster in there? Is it like a Narnia thing?"
Rick: "I'm not a beaver who believes in Jesus Christ, Morty. But yeah, it's pretty much a Narnia thing."

I wouldn't lie to you. Well... that's a lie.

Summer: "Someone out there is trying to kill us."
Rick: "Someone's always trying to kill us."

Morty: "I have English homework."
Rick: "You're still learning English? It's the language you speak. How dumb are you?"

Jerry: "Rick! Beth! You love me after all!"
Rick: "Eh, I love her, she loves you. Those credits don't transfer."

Camping is just being homeless... without the change.

Summer: "It is a hot photo. I think grief flushes her cheeks. Dad, you hardly put any sirup on."
Beth: "Honey, stop raising your father's colesterol so you can take a hot funeral selfie."
Summer: "I never get to do anything."

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

The world breaks us all and afterwards, some are stronger at the broken places.

Things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

What does daylight-saving time mean in Portland?
An extra hour of rain.

You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, and you both want to be Grandpa's favorite. I can fix this. Morty, sit here. Summer, you sit here. Now, listen - I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grandpa's concerned, you're both pieces of sh-! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-l-let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming, anyways.

Weddings are basically funerals with cake.

If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. We are who we are because of consequences. You can't live without consequences.

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We're all going to die. Come watch TV?

If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. OK, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none. The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.

I had nothing but time. Endless time. At first, it was madness. Then enlightment. Then madness again. But perhaps it was a gift. I could see the life of time. And as I watched the life of time in all its fleeting, terrible light, I wondered, had I lived? Was I just the object in another's story? Was that all I ever was? Could I be more? I had nothing but time and still no answer. Time without purpose is a prison. I have glimpsed into the mind of eternity. Perhaps the mind of God. And found nothing but silence.