Zitate und Sprüche von Aziz Ansari

Zitate und Sprüche von Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ismail Ansari ist ein US-amerikanischer Comedian und Schauspieler indisch-tamilischer Abstammung. Bekannt ist er unter anderem durch seine Rollen in den Serien Parks and Recreation und Master of None.

In Italien weiß man, dass man ein authentisches Restaurant gefunden hat, wenn es keine englischsprachige Karte gibt. In Indien, wenn es kein Besteck gibt und man mit den Händen essen muss.
1
Sei nett zu Menschen und arbeite hart!
Es gibt so viele Menschen, die zu Besonderem in der Lage sind, aber nie die Chance bekommen. Wenn ich Master of None nicht selbst geschrieben hätte, hätte ich die Rolle nicht bekommen.
Was jeder wirklich will, ist jemand, mit dem man am Sonntagnachmittag Serien gucken und nichts machen kann - und es fühlt sich nach riesigem Spaß an.
I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
1
Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.
Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.
For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

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Rachel: "I barely remember anything from that night, except for that you're from South Carolina, you have a younger brother, your dad's a doctor, and you went to a public high school for students, gifted in math and science."
Dev: "Yeah. But don't you feel like those are just assumptions you can make about any Indian person?"
I feel like there should be an app that analyzes your tum and tells you what you want to eat.
Dev Shah in Master of None - Staffel 1 Episode 10
Long term relationships are tough. You can't just expect a big, roaring fire right away, right? You know, you can't put the big logs in first. You start with the small stuff. Kindling, all right? Then you add that, then you put in the big logs and then you have a roaring fire. And that's a good relationship. But be careful, sometimes kindling is hard to find, you know? Good wood. So, don't take it for granted.
Dev: "You see The Social Network? Max Minghella plays an Indian guy. He's white. They browned him up."
Ravi: "No no, I read he's one-sixteenth Indian."
Dev: "Who cares? If you go back far enough we're all one-sixteenth something. I'm probably one-sixteenth black. You think they're gonna let me play Blade?"
Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?
Dev Shah in Master of None - Staffel 2
Why do they call it Plan B? I mean, is Plan A having the kid? That's a terrible plan.
Master of None - Staffel 1 Episode 1
"Did they live happily ever after?"
"I don't know about ever after, but they're pretty happy now."
Master of None - Staffel 1 Episode 9
No, I just wanted to do one dinner. I don't want, like, a serious relationship with my father.
Master of None - Staffel 1 Episode 2
Your IMDb page is full of Indian stereotypes.
Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 4 Episode 7
One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 5 Episode 19
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation - Staffel 3 Episode 2
What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.
I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.
No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.
Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.
Natürlich nehme ich Tag für Tag zu. Mit diesen Unmengen an Käse und Pasta, Brot, Wein, Schokolade und Pizza, die ich hier in Italien täglich verdrücke, mute ich meinem Körper einiges zu. Dennoch erblicke ich, als ich mich im Spiegel der besten Pizzeria Neapels betrachte, strahlende Augen, reine Haut, ein glückliches und gesundes Gesicht. So ein Gesicht habe ich lange nicht mehr an mir gesehen.
4
Hab einen Austauschschüler aus Indien gefragt, was ihm in Deutschland bisher so aufgefallen ist. Er: "Wenn hier auf einem Lebensmittel 'sehr scharf' steht, könnte ich mir damit immer noch die Augen eincremen."
Eine Ehe ist wie ein Restaurantbesuch:
Man denkt immer, man hätte das Beste gewählt, bis man sieht, was der Nachbar bekommt.
2
Je kälter es da draußen wird, desto mehr Unterschied macht ein nettes Wort. Je kälter es ist, desto wärmer kommt dir die Flamme vor. Und wenn's nur ein kleines Flämmchen ist. Wenn's nur eine kleine Glut ist, die kann schon den Unterschied machen und die kann das Eis zum Schmelzen bringen. Und vielleicht bist du diese Glut, vielleicht bist du diese Flamme.
18
Kluge Frauen lieben kluge Männer mehr als kluge Männer kluge Frauen lieben.
2
Wenn man Sonntags irgendetwas produktives macht, stirbt man leider.
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
1
The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.
There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!
Ich möchte den Namen der Zeitung nicht mal in den Mund nehmen, so sehr ekelt mich dieses Medium an.

Verwandte Seiten zu Aziz Ansari

Master of NoneParks and RecreationItalienIndienRestaurantsDie besten Sprüche über's Nett seinNett seinDie besten Dating-Sprüche und Zitate über SinglesSingles & DatingDie besten Zitate und Sprüche zum SonntagSonntagComediansDev Shah
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