Zitate und Sprüche aus American Pie

Zitate und Sprüche aus American Pie

Whiskey. Single Malt. 18 Jahre alt, so wie ich es mag.
Jeanine Stifler / Stifler's Mom in American Pie - 1
Wir sagen deiner Mutter einfach, wir hätten alles aufgegessen.
Noah Levenstein / Jim's Dad in American Pie - 1
Vicky: "Es muss absolut perfekt sein. Ich möchte, dass es zur richtigen Zeit am richtigen Ort passiert."
Jessica: "Vicky, es geht hier um Sex, nicht um den Start einer Rakete."
American Pie - 1
"Dude that chick's a MILF!"
"What to hell is that?"
"M-I-L-F: Mom I'd like to f*ck!"
American Pie - 1
My brother said by the end of the summer I'll get the big picture. And I see it. No matter what, times change, things are different. But the problem is, I don't want them to be.
Kevin Myers
When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you f*ckers learn anything in college?
Steve Stifler
Wenn ein Kerl zu dir sagt, er hätte mit drei Frauen geschlafen, war's in Wirklichkeit nur eine. Du musst die Anzahl immer durch drei dividieren. Fast so exakt wie ne Wissenschaft.
It's like banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. What you want is a partner to return the ball.
Noah Levenstein / Jim's Dad in American Pie - 1
Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.
Michelle Flaherty in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Du kannst nicht einfach drauflos fummeln. Oh nein, du musst den Ofen anheizen, bevor du den Truthahn rein stellst.
Michelle Flaherty
Finch: "So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?"
Stifler's Mom: "Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?"
Jeanine Stifler / Stifler's Mom in American Pie - 1
Stifler's Mom: "You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy."
Finch: "Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris."
Stifler's Mom: "And the pool table."
Finch: "And the car."
Stifler's Mom: "And the two-room suite I have upstairs."
Jeanine Stifler / Stifler's Mom in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Finch: "Oh, Jeanine!"
Jeanine: "Call me Stifler's Mom!"
Jeanine Stifler / Stifler's Mom
Jim, get some f*cking balls. If you can't bring yourself to photograph a naked chick, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one?
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 1
Und ich bekenne mich schuldig, dass ich doch sehr häufig... masturbiert habe, als ich noch ein klein wenig jünger war. Ich nannte es immer "die Salami streicheln". Mit Backwaren hab ich's allerdings nie getrieben. Dein Onkel Mort hat mindestens fünf bis sechs mal mit seiner Schlange gespielt.
Noah Levenstein / Jim's Dad in American Pie - 1
She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away!
Steve Stifler
Hi, I'm Jim's Dad. You must be the parents of this young lady. I didn't get your daughter's name, but hopefully my son did.
Noah Levenstein / Jim's Dad
Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Jim: "Here's an easy one, okay: 'Attractive single white female, fun-loving, youthful mind seeks outgoing companion.' Attractive: ugly."
Oz: "Fun-loving: insane."
Kevin: "Unlisted age plus 'youthful mind' equals 'Old'."
Jim: "No, 'charming' is old. 'Older' is really old. 'Youthful mind' is dead."
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Wie wär's wenn ihr Jungs eure Schwänze entdeckt, die Einschweißfolie aufreißt und sie verdammt nochmal benutzt!
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 1
Jim: "Look, maybe we should give him a chance. You know, I think that underneath all the 'f*cks' and 'sh*ts' and 'blow me's', there's a very sensitive person who's just thirsty for acceptance. That's... that's what I think."
Michelle: "Oh, Jim... you gotta stop masturbating... it's melting your brain."
Michelle Flaherty in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Michelle: "How did a little perv like you, turn into such a great guy?"
Jim: "How did a little nympho like you, turn into such a great girl?"
Michelle: "I'm still a nympho."
Jim: "Well, I'm still a perv."
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
You've gotta control yourself and think of something non-sexual. I haven't even touched you yet and you're turning into the Sears Tower.
Michelle Flaherty
Finch: "Das sind meine Leute. Lass mich das machen."
Stifler: "Sind die schwul?"
Finch: "Nein, du beschissener Vollhirni, sie haben Stil, sie sind kultiviert, sie sind gebildet."
Stifler: "Also doch schwul."
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
I would like to make an announcement - there is a gorgeous woman mast-rbating on my bed!
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Außer dir kenn' ich keinen, der für sein Teil 'ne Bedienungsanleitung braucht.
Steve Stifler
You realise we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Jim's Dad: "Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it 'making love'?"
Michelle: "I don't know. I just call it 'boning'."
Jim's Dad: "Boning? Well, when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?"
Michelle: "Horny, like I wanna bone."
Jim's Dad: "But, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear."
Michelle: "Oh, you've never tried it?"
Jim's Dad: "I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion."
Noah Levenstein / Jim's Dad in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Oh Ja. Der Stifmeister kommt wieder nach Grand Harbor. Sei auf Zack, kack dir nicht in den Truck, wisch mir den Arsch und leck mir den Sack. Achtung, Stifler kommt. Baby!
Steve Stifler
Oz: "All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit."
Stifler: "I dunno, man, that... sounds like a lot of work!"
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 1
Stifler: "Mother f*cker!"
Finch: "Yes I am."
Stifler: "Oh, you son of a b*tch!"
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!
Kevin Myers in American Pie - 1
Cadence: "Can I see the ring?"
Stifler: "Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket."
Cadence: "Okay, Frodo."
Cadence Flaherty in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Das eine mal, im Ferienlager...
Michelle Flaherty in American Pie - 1
God bless the internet!
Paul Finch in American Pie - 1
Michelle: "Oh ja, Jim, ich werde feucht."
Jim: "Wirklich?"
Michelle: "Nein, das war nur ein Ansp*rn."
Michelle Flaherty
This is my first time, since my first time.
Jim Levenstein
Stifler: "There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?"
Jim: "What am I supposed to do, Stifler, broadcast her over the internet?"
Stifler: "Yeah!"
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 1
Hey Stifler, why dont you grow a sack, fill it with some balls, magically sprout a d-ck and start f*cking yourself in the ass?
Paul Finch in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Vicky: "Hey, Kevin. I want to have sex."
Kevin: "Now?"
Vicky: "Prom."
American Pie - 1
Ich bin ein hoch entwickelter Sexrobotor, gekommen durch Zeit und Raum und jetzt ändere ich die Zukunft einer glücklich Auserwählten.
Chuck "Sherminator" Sherman in American Pie - 1
My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Stifler: "Observe the f*ckin' Stifmeister, what is his defining characteristic?"
Jim: "He uses the f-word excessively?"
Stifler: "Thanks man."
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Jim: "Did you see 'The Little Mermaid' on TV yesterday? Ariel, she's so hot!"
Oz: "She's a mermaid, dude."
Jim: "Yeah, but not when she's on land, Oz."
Jim Levenstein in American Pie - 1
Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.
Michelle Flaherty in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Finch: "Stifler, why in the world are you focused on me ?"
Stifler: "Because I'm surprised to see you don't have t*ts."
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet
Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
Steve Stifler in American Pie - 3: Jetzt wird geheiratet

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