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Laura: "Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met!"
Steve Urkel: "You heard her, you're all witnesses. She actually said, 'Human Being'. She's mine!"

Steve Urkel

Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem.

Steve Urkel

Laura: "How long have we known each other?"
Steve Urkel: "Nine years, three months, two weeks, four days, six hours, eight minutes, and fourteen seconds... fifteen seconds... sixteen seconds."

Steve Urkel

Ich weiß ich bin es nicht wert von dir geliebt zu werden. Aber ich kann nichts dafür, ich liebe dich. Es ist als wolle man einen Stern erreichen - du weißt, dass du es nie schaffen wirst, aber du versuchst es immer weiter.

I know I'm not worthy of you. But I just can't help loving you. It's like wanting to touch a star - you know you'll never reach it, but you just gotta keep trying.

Steve Urkel - Staffel 2 Episode 3

Sehnsucht Liebeskummer Liebeserklärungen

Erfahrungen in erster Hilfe habe ich nämlich schon reichlich. Ich hatte Nasenbluten bei meiner Geburt, weil der Arzt aufs falsche Ende geklatscht hat.

Steve Urkel - Staffel 2 Episode 3

Edward: "Ich hab noch eine Chance, er entscheidet zwischen mir und zwei Anderen. Die sind zwar besser mit dem Schlauch, aber ich bin der Klügste."
Laura: "Und die finden Morgens allein zur Arbeit?"

Edward: "I still got a chance, it's between me and two other guys. They're better with the hose, but I'm the smartest."
Laura: "And they find their way to work every morning?"

Laura Winslow - Staffel 1 Episode 15

Laura: "Lass mich in Ruhe, ich hab nicht mal Zeit um gemein zu dir zu sein!"
Steve Urkel: "Na klasse, vielleicht bleib ich ein Weilchen."

Laura: Forget it, Steve, I don't even have time to be mean!"
Steve Urkel: "Great, maybe I'll stay a while."

Steve Urkel - Staffel 1 Episode 14

Carl, du kochst doch nicht, du verbrennst. Bei dir verkohlt nicht nur der Toast, du lässt auch das Kaffeewasser anbrennen.

Carl, you don't cook, you burn. You burn eggs, you burn toast, you're the only man I know who burns Jell-O.

Harriette Winslow - Staffel 1 Episode 14

Laura: "Wir spielen nämlich Verstecken."
Steve Urkel: "Na toll, das spielen ja meine Eltern auch immer so gern mit mir. Einmal habe ich sie sogar in Milwaukee wieder gefunden, aber da wohnten sie unter falschem Namen."

Laura: "Hide-and-seek, that's it."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, great, my parents play this with me all the time. Once, I found them in Milwaukee living under an assumed name."

Steve Urkel - Staffel 1 Episode 14

Edward: "Mir reichts jetzt mit dem Hund."
Harriette: "Was ist passiert?"
Edward: "Das hat der Köter mit meiner Mathearbeit gemacht!"
Harriette: "Dann sag das doch deinem Lehrer."
Edward: "Das kann ich nicht, die Ausrede hab ich benutzt bevor wir 'nen Hund hatten."

Edward: "That's it. I've had it with that dog."
Harriette: "What happened?"
Edward: "Look what he did to my algebra homework!"
Harriette: "Tell your teacher your dog ate it."
Edward: "I can't, I used that excuse before we got the dog."

Edward Winslow - Staffel 1 Episode 13

Steve Urkel: "Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Did you think of me while you guys were camping?"
Laura Winslow: "Yeah, every time I used the bug spray."

Laura Winslow

Estelle Winslow: "Steve, how did you get so good at checkers?"
Steve Urkel: "Practice. Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends."

Steve Urkel

Lt. Murtaugh: "They're sending in that Urkel kid."
Carl Winslow: "What? We've got cheerleaders taller than him."

Carl Winslow

Judy Winslow: "Mom, when's dinner? We're starved."
Harriette: "Soon, baby. Your dad's runnin' late."
Laura: "Let's eat everything and see if he can take a joke!"

Laura Winslow

Laura: "Where did you get the money for this?"
Steve Urkel: "From my stay-away fund. Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them."

Steve Urkel

Clarence: "Yo, you a serious little nerd."
Steve Urkel: "No, I AM a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences."

Steve Urkel

Grammatik

Well, look at his poor, pathetic face. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.

Steve Urkel

Richard Simmons

Laura: "Thank you, Steve. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. But, it's only a compliment and it doesn't mean anything more than that."
Steve Urkel: "Oh, I understand."
Laura: "You did good."
Steve Urkel: "You love me, don't you?"

Steve Urkel

Sorry I'm late, but I got my tongue stuck in the printing press.

Steve Urkel

Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

Steve Urkel

Töchter One-Liner

Carl Winslow: "Du hast doch Laura gebeten mit dir zur Party zu gehen, nicht?"
Steve Urkel: "Na, wie käm ich denn auf so ein schmales Brett? Dad sagte, sie hätten das alles arrangiert."

Steve Urkel - Staffel 1 Episode 12

Steve Urkel: "I've taken a vow of chastity."
Carl: "Steve, you've always been chaste."
Steve Urkel: "Yeah, but now I have an excuse."

Steve Urkel

I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks.

Steve Urkel

My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying.

Steve Urkel

Carl: "Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom?"
Steve Urkel: "You yelled at me and you called me a butthead."
Carl: "Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead?"
Steve Urkel: "Yes. It was my nickname in preschool."

Steve Urkel

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Du weißt was sie über Chicago sagen. Wenn dir das Wetter nicht gefällt, warte einfach 15 Minuten.

You know what they say about Chicago. If you don't like the weather, wait fifteen minutes.

Ralph Kiner

Chicago

Why are there so many Latina's in Illinois?
Because that's where the Chica go.

Chicago Illinois

Keine Tricks, keine Kniffe, keine Pillen, keine Medizin. Alles was es braucht ist Leidenschaft und Wille.

No tricks, gimmicks, special pills, special potions, special equipment. All it takes is desire and will.

Richard Simmons

Motivation

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