Zitate und Sprüche von Alan Harper

Hör zu und merk dir, Liebe bringt dich besser durch Zeiten ohne Geld, als Geld dich durch Zeiten ohne Liebe bringt.

Well, listen, just remember, that love will get u through times of no money better, than money will get you through times of no love.

Walden: "Money does not buy happiness!"
Alan: "I wouldn't know, I never had either."

Die Frauen weisen uns aus 100 verschiedenen Gründen zurück. Mit weißeren Zähnen bleiben 99.

Women reject me for 100 different reasons. White teeth would reduce that to 99 problems.

Be sure to wear a condom, not everything stays in Vegas!

Walden: "Let this be a warning to you, Alan. There're women out there, that will be nice to you, just to get to your money."
Alan: "Thanks, but that's not very high on my list of concerns."

Lindsey: "You're tall, good looking, very successful. Believe me, women settle for a lot less!"
Alan: "And thank god for that!"

I know what you said you wanted, but I really dont think Pamela Anderson will agree to swallow your ashes.

[talking to Charlie's urn] Here we are, buddy. Just like old times, I'm talking and you're in a bottle, ignoring me.

Charlie: "Ich glaub, ich hab mein Leben lang versucht, die Leere in mir aufzufüllen, indem ich, naja..."
Alan: "...die Leere bei anderen ausgefüllt hast."

Wenn dein Penis nur an einem Kleidungsstück von ihr schnüffeln könnte.

Charlie: "Und, Mum, welchem Umstand verdanken wir dieses unerwartete...-"
Evelyn: "Vergnügen?"
Charlie: "Nein. Das ist es nicht."
Evelyn: "Ich hab in der Nähe ein Haus vorgeführt und wollte die Menschen besuchen, die ich liebe."
Alan: "Und die waren nicht da?"

I give you a hint: I didn't do the dog 'people-style'.

What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters? Hooterbucks - I'd like a Double-D Cup Latte, please!

I could sprinkle you on the beach. It's simple, it's dignified and pretty girls covered with oil will be sitting on you all day. And like your life, except for the dignified part.